Inceptional theory of Marketing

Dear readers, please do not judge by the lucency of title and assume the following piece of writing to be some hi-funda theory straight out of a journal or a research paper or something that Philip Kotler is about to include in the upcoming edition of his book. What you are about to read is nothing but unadulterated nonsense arising out of a blitzkrieg i.e. a sudden rush of madness.This is because I, equipped with almost zero knowledge of Marketing, I have boldly risked to venture into unchartered territory by trying to form some idiosyncratic opinions and ideas, which would really shock Prof Deepa Sahasrabuddhe.

A few days ago I had gone to see the latest Hollywood flick Inception just to have a glimpse of what the hype is all about. But I was exhausted and enervated after yet another very normal day in a B-Schooler's life- one presentation, two assignments and a ''God'' level viva examination. The ambiance inside the multiplex provided to be ideal for sleep, but the only slumber slayer (apart from the usual endless list of professors) surprisingly was the movie. After 150 minutes of battle between my dreams and the sound from the Dolby digital speakers,all that my subconscious mind could register was a few words- Totem, Dreamer, Limbo, Kick etc.

The very next day I read an interesting news related to a battle between two marketing giants- P&G and HUL, with the latter spoiling the former's mega plan. P&G, planning to unveil its new 'Pantene' shampoo, put up hoardings all around Mumbai which read ' a mystery shampoo better than anything else is about to come.' But HUL ambushed the mystery with their hoardings which read 'there is no mystery, Dove is the No.1 shampoo.' As a result of this top executives of P&G went cribbing about this and started accusing HUL of spying, adopting unethical means etc. But they failed to understand the fact that they were 'Inceptionalized'.

P&G were the ''Dreamers'' and in their minds arose the idea of promoting a mystery shampoo supposed to be better than anything else. This dream was constructed in the mind of the Dreamer by the ''Architects'' ,who were their marketing strategists. After creation of this dream, they went inside a ''Limbo'' (a place where dreamers end up if they dream too deeply), as a result of which they believed that no one would be able to steal their dreams. But HUL had Mr Cobb with them, who, armed with his ''Totem'' , (which is an object constructed to invade a dream) provided P&G with the ultimate ''Kick.'' This kick woke up the dreamer and returned it back to reality. Thus, they were ''Cobbed'' (read as robbed) of their Dreams. This in short, explains the ''Inceptional Theory of Marketing.'' Keep the top spinning or else risk getting Inceptionalized.